1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
