Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
