make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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