My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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