I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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