Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize