Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

Fav 3 1208 2009
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(360): View more from Washington

So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.

Fav 9 3731 788
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(404): View more from Georgia

Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..

Fav 19 6142 1002
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

Fav 7 1253 3243
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(561): View more from Florida

We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.

Fav 18 1057 2615
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(+61): View more from Australia

He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today

Fav 2 97 95
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.

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