So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize