since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
