kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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