Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
