Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
