A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
