i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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