tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
