so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am one with the molecules
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
