I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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