just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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