batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
