he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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