are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
