Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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