dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
