We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
