btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize