you guys were way drunker than both of me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
