Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
