He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize