Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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