i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
