is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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