Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
