Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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