ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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