I wannas sexs uuuuu
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
