So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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