it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
