butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
