never play flip cup with pint glasses
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize