This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
