Already got asked if we're dating
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
