Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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