Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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