I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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