ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
