Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
