I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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