If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
