i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
