i permit you to call me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
