Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
