I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize