Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
