Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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