I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
