i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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