I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
