these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
