Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Success! We fucked roommates!
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