id be glad to
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
