Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
